CAO Theme Song

Gibberish and a whole lot of pointless activity. I finally found a song that is worthy of being the theme song of our Critical Areas Ordinances (CAOs). See the YouTube video link at bottom of post. If you watch the video very closely, you can almost make out Fralick, Miller, Pratt, Rosenfeld, and Stephens cavorting with glee over having rammed the CAOs through.

According to a report about the song on National Public Radio,

In November 1972, Italian pop star Adriano Celentano released a song that hit No. 1 in his home country, despite the fact it wasn't performed in Italian.

It also wasn't performed in English.

In fact, it wasn't performed in any language at all.

The song, called "Prisencolinensinainciusol," was written to mimic the way English sounds to non-English speakers.

"Ever since I started singing, I was very influenced by American music and everything Americans did," [Celentano] tells Guy Raz, host of weekends on All Things Considered, through interpreter Sim Smiley.

"So at a certain point, because I like American slang — which, for a singer, is much easier to sing than Italian — I thought that I would write a song which would only have as its theme the inability to communicate," he says. "And to do this, I had to write a song where the lyrics didn't mean anything."

"Prisencolinensinainciusol" is so nonsensical that Celentano didn't even write down the lyrics, but instead improvised them over a looped beat. When it was first released in 1972, Celentano says no one noticed it. But that didn't stop him from performing it several years later on Italian television. The second time was the charm: it immediately became No. 1 in Italy, as well as France, Germany and Belgium.

But is that really what American English sounds like?

"Yes," he says. "Exactly like that."

To us, it just sounds like the CAOs. Below are a few more select quotes from various parts of just the General Section (emphasis added).

Regarding the Reasonable Use Exception
The burden of proof is on the applicant to provide adequate information for the director to make a finding of compliance with the requirements of this subsection (D). 

Who Needs to Undergo Critical Area Review?
Critical Areas. This section outlines the process for reviewing projects to identify Critical Area requirements that apply under SJCC 18.30.110 through 18.30.160 (Critical Area regulations). Unless exempt under SJCC 18.30.110, prior to removal of vegetation or site disturbance, all development activities and vegetation removal requiring a project permit or development permit, review or approval under other sections of County Code, must undergo this review. Prior to approval, sufficient information must be provided to demonstrate compliance with SJCC 18.30.110-160. Any illegal degradation of protected Critical Areas must be mitigated and if mitigation is not completed prior to issuance of permits, a financial guarantee must be provided.

Are Current Uses Protected?
Uses and activities may be continued, replaced with other uses or activities, or relocated, provided, any required project or development permits are obtained, and there is no increase in the magnitude of adverse impacts to water quality or the functions and values of critical areas. Relocation of any use or activity in this area shall be reviewed as a provisional use.

Who decides whether your existing uses or activities may be increasing the "magnitude of adverse impacts to water quality or the functions and values of critical areas?" Short answer -- not you!